The house is quiet. All drying, dehumidifying, defiltering and defanning equipment are out of the house. So, it was a quiet sleep last night. I needed it. It was a rough week. And, oddly not because of the flood! Just work, so much coming at me all at once. Everyone is busy and this is usually our slow time. I guess that is a good thing. But, I feel overly tense and edgy and sensitive. I snapped at Paul. He offered to help me one night and gladly I sent him the files. He responds with an email that basically was of no help at all and deferring me to someone else. I was so pissed off. For a couple reasons... one: he offered!! And, then he takes the offer away. Why wouldn't he help me? Obviously, more work than he had expected? Wouldn't that be all the more reason to help me?? So, I confronted him the next morning. Of course, he was his charming self but I was having none of it. I left it with "Don't worry, I'll pull it together myself and if you have time before the presentation I will show you what I have." (It was oozing with bitterness.) Fifteen minutes later he sends me an email with some comments trying to be helpful and nice. My response was "I thought you didn't want to help." Then last night again he offers and says he's available all weekend to help me if I needed it, and I said, " I'm not falling for that offer again. Don't worry, I don't need any help." AND, I haven't forgotten reason number two why I was so pissed off at him. Two: Every time he has asked for help in the past, I have helped him with no hesitation, even if I was busy and even if it meant staying late. I know he's the President of the company so if he asks, you have to say yes. But, I'm not doing that anymore. I'll defer him to someone else. So, I had a little cry in the car on my way home. I'm allowed, right? Because, I really don't know how I'm going to get everything done next week. So, to add salt to the wound he sends me an email today saying, "Hope you're having a good Saturday." Honestly, do you really think I'm having a good Saturday??? That's what I wanted to email back but I didn't.


Anyways, I'm overly tense and sensitive as you can see. It was a relief to have Jim go to Cambridge without me. Liam stayed with me too. I decided to still go riding today. I'm sorta glad I did? I almost got thrown off of Beau. My new coach scares me a bit. She makes me do things that I have never done before and without any prep. Like cantering Beau with no stirrups. And jumping with Beau in a canter. I cleared it twice and then she had me change directions. It was his stronger direction too. Beau was so excited to do some jumps he cleared the jump but in the process threw me out of the saddle. I hung onto his neck. My seat was out of the saddle and everything. I was literally arms and legs hanging onto his neck. I was so shaken up! I had to take a break to collect myself and then she made me do it again. I did and it felt like a really good jump. She said she was proud of me for doing it again because most people would have gotten off the horse. Of which my response was... I could have gotten off the horse? Man, if I had known I totally would have gotten off the horse. Too bad I didn't have my camera. I'm sure it must have looked funny.


I better get back to work. Sorry, I couldn't see you and dad tonight. I was looking forward to it. But, we'll see you next weekend! No pictures today... not in the mood. But, it was a nice break to blog to you. I'm feeling better as I get work done too. Love you xoxo